This is going to be a hard one to write. As you know over the holidays my mom was in and out of the hospital to get a blood transfusion, to drain the fluid from her lung, and ultimately to have a catheter placed in her lung. When she went to see her oncologist the first week in January, he took a look at the cat scan she had done while she was in the hospital and saw that the tumor had, again, not responded to the Taxotere. He told us that given that the first 3 lines of chemo did not work, the chances of the next drug (and the last in the line of treatments) working was only 1-2%. Because of these odds and the probable side effects from the chemo, he said he could not recommend going forward with further treatment. His focus at this point, he said, would be on making her quality of life as good as it could be. Palliative care. However, the choice would be hers. He wanted her to take some time (a week, a month) to think about it. Weigh the options. We talked about looking for other clinical trials. UM didn’t have any she was eligible for, but there might be something else out there for her to try. This would have its own problems. Even if she were eligible and enrolled, it would  basically mean moving to the new city for the duration of the treatment, which would be difficult and not very comfortable. But it would be an option. This was last Wednesday.

So she went home. She and Ramon made an appointment to see the oncologist 2 weeks later and planned on using the time to think about what he said and make a decision. Unfortunately, last Friday, the pain she felt before she had radiation returned and she felt additional pain in her chest. Because she has such adverse reaction to opioids, it is difficult to control the pain. She takes ibuprofen, which seems to help a little, but it is only so effective. On top of this, she’s having trouble eating, which is not new. But all this combined – the pain, the lack of appetite, the overall fatigue – is making her very uncomfortable.

After thinking about her options and everything the doctor said, she has decided not to go forward with treatment. Instead, she has decided to start hospice care. We are hoping that with the help of hospice, she will be able to be more comfortable. I know hospice through their help with various family members and through my past job at the ALS center in NYC. It is a wonderful organization that I know will help provide support for both my mother and Ramon not just physically, but also emotionally.

This wasn’t an easy decision for my mom to make, as you might imagine. This is hard for all of us. But we are all here to support her and we hope that this may provide the comfort that she deserves.

Just a last note – I know it’s been difficult for my mom to speak the past few days. So if you wanted to call or talk to her, it may be better to send her a text message.

I send my love to everyone.